An Abrupt Shutdown
During a time not all too many months ago when I was working for an organic supermarket, I had an interesting run-in with disconnection that I had not experienced in quite any way I had before.
Only a few days after the incident between my colleague and the man with whom she experienced irritation and anger (see the blog post just before this one), a woman came through the check-out lane that I was assisting, only to find out that her coupon was expired. The language her cashier used that day to inform her apparently stimulated immense frustration and disbelief in her, and after voicing her lack of appreciation for the service of the store, she ostensibly marched for the exit.
I waited a beat or two, being sure that the lane was clear, then ran after her to catch her at the automatic doors.
To be sure, I was nervous about approaching a stranger so openly, let alone an extremely discontented customer, but my eagerness to redeem a clear case of disconnecting energy was strong in me. …Perhaps a bit stronger than was really helpful to either of us.
Kelsey: Ma’am? Look, I was overhearing what you were saying at the check-out just now. It sounds like you were pretty distressed over what was happening with the coupon.
Woman: You know, I just can’t believe what passes as service these days! It’s inexcusable!
K: Mm, yeah, so it sounds like you were really hoping for some more help and support around it.
Woman: It was inexcusable! I mean, am I wrong?
(Pause)
K: …Umm…
W: Really? Am I just so wrong to want to be treated like a human being? What do you think?
K: Well, I mean, I understand what you’re saying… I mean, I totally understand how nice it’d be to have more respect and–
And that was it. Not waiting for me to finish my sentence, the woman turned away and walked out of the store. I continued to stand there alone for a minute or two, embarrassed, torn, and ashamed. What had happened? What had I done wrong?
It was about another hour before I could find reconciliation and some peace in myself, but it came through an important realization for me around the role of evaluations in events of disconnect.
You have an amazing capacity for thinking these things through – it is the power of a philosopher. As you should imagine – most of us move through these scenarios with a shrug and keep going down our own paths. It is good to pause through your reflection.
Thank you, Mike! I really resonate with that thought. I’m making a very conscious effort at this time to slow down, in order to fully experience the greater depth to what may seem a “trivial” matter to me at the time. I’d say I probably even take more time to try and meditate with it and feel it out over think through it much (since my thoughts on the first go-round tend to stimulate more frustration or pain than acceptance or gratitude for the experience). It feels great to receive that recognition for my efforts!