Giraffes and Jackals
When Marshall Rosenberg invoked the basic premises of NVC (nonviolent communication) he made a distinction between what he called “Giraffe” language and “Jackal” language — giraffe for its big heart and jackal for its big ears.
When we are “speaking Giraffe” or “listening in Giraffe,” we are speaking or listening with a foundational intention in us for connection, with ourselves or with another person. For this purpose, we are bound to rely on empathy to bring support through presence to the situation in order that connection have something to build itself on.
Speaking or listening in Jackal, however, in most 
cases results in disconnect, whatever the intention behind the communication may have been. We are inclined to hear things in a way that we interpret as judgment or express ourselves to the listener in ways that foster a sense of blame or shame in them.
At its essence, Giraffe invites us to listen beneath the surface level of what is being said (or what we would like to say) and really hear the pain or joy or other emotional qualities that are alive in someone (or ourselves).
Jackal, meanwhile, tends to hear or speak things precisely as they are at the surface, with all the devices of punishment still functioning at their full violent power. Jackal invites us only to continue operating as though the beliefs and thoughts we hold or hear others holding — of the world, of other people, of ourselves — were reality, that whatever subjective human depth may be underneath them does not shift the meanings of the truths they claim.
So what do these two very different ways of being look like in the real world?
You have an amazing capacity for thinking these things through – it is the power of a philosopher. As you should imagine – most of us move through these scenarios with a shrug and keep going down our own paths. It is good to pause through your reflection.
Thank you, Mike! I really resonate with that thought. I’m making a very conscious effort at this time to slow down, in order to fully experience the greater depth to what may seem a “trivial” matter to me at the time. I’d say I probably even take more time to try and meditate with it and feel it out over think through it much (since my thoughts on the first go-round tend to stimulate more frustration or pain than acceptance or gratitude for the experience). It feels great to receive that recognition for my efforts!